Scared of Rejection? Why You Should Try to Get Rejected More Often

Do you have a fear of being rejected? Some people get over rejection very quickly, but for others, the fear of rejection causes major problems. People who fear rejection often end up living very lonely lives because they never take the initiative in forming new relationships.

If you have a fear of getting rejected socially, one way to overcome your fear of rejection is to deliberately go out and try to collect a lot of rejections on purpose. Make it into a game! When you're trying to get rejected on purpose, it's just practice, so it doesn't really count. This strategy is used by some therapists who specialize in the treatment of shyness.

For example, if you have a fear of being rejected by women, set out to get rejected by many, many women on purpose. Make it into a game, and give yourself points for every rejection you receive. Once you have collected say, a hundred points, give yourself a meaningful reward.

If you're really nervous about approaching women, start out with just a very tiny change in your behavior. Just say hello to every woman you meet. Count up all the rejections. Decide how many rejections you want to get in a day, and work hard each day to make that quota!

Once you are used to saying hello to women you don't know, add on a new behavior, such as making a comment about the weather, or asking a simple question. Keep counting your rejections, and set a quota of rejections to meet each day.

Then gradually add more complicated behaviors to this list. Start asking women out for coffee. Then start asking them out on dates. If they reject you it doesn't matter. Remember, you want to get rejected so that you can make more points.

You want to get rejected so that you can learn not to take it personally.

You want to get rejected so you become comfortable with the process of meeting new people and talking to them without having to worry whether or not it leads to anything.

If you actually do this exercise instead of just reading about it, you can learn to experience rejection in a whole new way. Getting rejected will no longer feel like a terrible attack on your innermost being. It will simply be a light hearted exercise that you can learn to enjoy as you develop a new skill.

Getting over a fear of rejection can require a lot of determination and courage. It also takes practice, practice, practice!

You have to keep practicing new ways of thinking and new ways of behaving until they become second nature for you. A fear of being rejected doesn't need to keep you in a prison of loneliness. If you keep trying new social behaviors, your shyness and your loneliness can become a thing of the past!