Beliefs That Harm Your Relationship (1)

We tend to have a rosy vision of love coupled with unrealistic expectations of the relationship which it creates. Some of us believe that love is enough to see us through the bad times and that, if people love us, they'll do anything to make us happy. Others subscribe to the notion that as long as they do their 'little bit' in the partnership, everything will be fine. Finally, everyone likes to believe that their partners will change to suit them. But, boy, are we all in for a surprise?

Taking each of these beliefs in turn, love is certainly not enough on any level. It isn't enough to hold two people together, because they need to be able to communicate with, and understand, each other and also solve problems together. The very next day after their honeymoon, they will have to find out how to share the same house, the same room, the same bed, the same money and the same ideals. In addition, they now have new friends and relatives to contend with. It's no longer the carefree dating scene the two parties enjoyed before their wedding. They don't go to their respective homes at the end of the day, or at the weekends. They are at home together, for keeps. There is no escaping that fact if they are truly committed to the relationship. Those charming characteristics they like about their partners, and the irritating ones they loathe, are now with them all the time. There will even be times when they forget that they love their partner! But, that's the situation any new relationship creates and its success depends on how it is dealt with.

The Need to Adapt and Change


Closeness with someone else might bring intimacy, but it also brings the need to adapt and change. However, we can tolerate only so much change without being affected or feeling resentful, especially when we are happy with ourselves and enjoy doing our own thing. Getting married or going into a relationship is thus a major change in our life. The rules of behaviour are different and, unlike being