Beliefs That Harm Your Relationship (1)

We tend to have a rosy vision of love coupled with unrealistic expectations of the relationship which it creates. Some of us believe that love is enough to see us through the bad times and that, if people love us, they'll do anything to make us happy. Others subscribe to the notion that as long as they do their 'little bit' in the partnership, everything will be fine. Finally, everyone likes to believe that their partners will change to suit them. But, boy, are we all in for a surprise?

Taking each of these beliefs in turn, love is certainly not enough on any level. It isn't enough to hold two people together, because they need to be able to communicate with, and understand, each other and also solve problems together. The very next day after their honeymoon, they will have to find out how to share the same house, the same room, the same bed, the same money and the same ideals. In addition, they now have new friends and relatives to contend with. It's no longer the carefree dating scene the two parties enjoyed before their wedding. They don't go to their respective homes at the end of the day, or at the weekends. They are at home together, for keeps. There is no escaping that fact if they are truly committed to the relationship. Those charming characteristics they like about their partners, and the irritating ones they loathe, are now with them all the time. There will even be times when they forget that they love their partner! But, that's the situation any new relationship creates and its success depends on how it is dealt with.

The Need to Adapt and Change


Closeness with someone else might bring intimacy, but it also brings the need to adapt and change. However, we can tolerate only so much change without being affected or feeling resentful, especially when we are happy with ourselves and enjoy doing our own thing. Getting married or going into a relationship is thus a major change in our life. The rules of behaviour are different and, unlike being

Be Courteous For A Happy Marriage – And To Save A Troubled One

The wedding celebration is summed up with the exchange of the "I do's." This is just the beginning. There are more exchanges of words expected. However, to have a lasting relationship, respect is the key.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, respect is such a big word. It is a big factor in any relationship. It is the foundation of love and trust. Any married couple encountering difficulties in their relationships can simply go back to this fundamental.

To maintain harmony, each of the spouses must manifest respect to the other. Simply be courteous, both in words and in actions.

Most people associate courtesy with etiquette. That is why most people think it is very burdensome. Some people even claim that they want to be laidback in a serious relationship, that there is no need for pretenses or formalities.

However, courtesy is not all about table manners or social formalities. It is simply an active choice of doing the proper things at the proper time, like displaying gratitude when there is something to be thankful for or expressing sweet words of love.

Say the Magic Word

Do not let politeness be forgotten in the relationship. To be courteous to each other is not difficult. One only has to remember the magic words taught back in the kindergarten days. Here are some phrases that would definitely count.

1. "Please."
Requesting for something to be done will sound better if coupled with this simple word.

2. "Thank You."
These two words express gratitude for someone who went out of the way to do something special.

3. "You're welcome."

Even in married life, each of the spouses still deserves such sweet and comforting phrases. Their lasting effects are not to be underestimated. These words never go out of style.

Be Courteous in Your Actions

Courtesy can also be extended on many other occasions.

It would be a good thought to return phone calls. Leaving a note behind to simply inform the itinerary or destination for the day will also assure the husband or the wife. Remembering and celebrating anniversaries and birthdays are definitely plus points.

Do not fall out of these habits. Common courtesy is deserved by others. Coupled with the thought of doing such things will definitely make the spouse worthy of respect.

The simplest and most ordinary things done everyday are actually the best things to take note of when trying to improve the marriage. If one aims for more intimacy and openness in the marriage, such simple and intimate ways of communication must be encouraged.